Saturday, December 31, 2011

Silvestr, or: How to Have a Happy New Year's Eve in Prague

It's new year's eve already, and time to decide where you'll be when midnight rolls around. If you're an expat or tourist in Prague, the obvious thing to do is go to the city center. That's where the fireworks and crowds will be, so that must be where the party is.

But there's a reason it's almost entirely foreigners in the city center on Silvestr. You might feel like you should go at least once, just so you can experience it. I'd like to try to spare you that nightmare by describing what exactly awaits you there when the clock strikes twelve.

First of all, take all the Czech people in the city, and move them someplace else. Most natives are either at home, at friend's houses, or out in the countryside, hiding from the festivities you are considering taking part in. Now take all of the foreigners who are either living in Prague or on holiday here, and move them to Wenceslas Square and Old Town Square.

Both of these locations tend to be overcrowded to begin with, but on Silvestr, there is literally no room to breathe. Many thousands of people will be packed into a relatively small area. You can get there early and have a good spot, but you won't be able to leave for several hours. If you've ever been near the stage at a concert when the main act comes on and everyone pushes to the front, been picked up off your feet by the bodies of those around you and tossed around with no hope of regaining control, then you have an idea of what it will be like right around midnight.

Now that everyone is in one place, it's time to introduce alcohol. Most of these people will be drunk by the time they get there, but there is no shortage of booze on the street. In fact, one of the favorite pastimes for new year's drunkards on the street is opening champagne bottles by the clever method of shaking them until they're about to explode, then firing the cork out into the crowd. Bonus points if you hit someone in the eye!

The only thing more enjoyable than firing projectiles made of cork is firing explosives, and there are plenty to be found. All of the local shops have been selling various fireworks for the past month or so in preparation for the only day of the year when it's perfectly legal for any old drunken fool to set off bottle rockets and other explosives in the middle of a crowd. It's safe enough as long as people are careful to fire upwards, but with so much alcohol involved, you can be sure that there will be some strays which fly horizontally, damaging property and people alike.

In fact, whether you speak Czech or not, you can get a pretty good idea of the aftermath of Silvestr (and what the emergency services have to deal with) from the pictures on this 2009 article from Blesk.

Finally, once midnight is over and you're tired of partying, you have to find a way home. The trams are backed up for several kilometers, and occasionally someone sets off a firework inside one of them by accident (at least, one hopes it's by accident). Your best bet is simply to walk home, but it will take some time even to get off the square.

If you're looking for something safe and genuinely fun to do tonight, I recommend asking a Czech friend for advice and tagging along with them. On the other hand, if that friend suggests going to the center, it's time to find a new friend, because that person is deranged enough to be willing to deal with the torture just so they can enjoy watching you suffer.

As for me, tonight I'll be at a small bar called Abstrakt with some friends. It's far enough from the main festivities to be safe, but close enough to the center that it won't take long to get home. The drinks are reasonably priced and the service is good, and there's plenty of couches for sitting. The key is that this place is small, so it won't draw dangerous crowds, and the majority of the clientele are Czech, so the drunken tourist problem is not a concern.

Information on tonight's party can be found on Abstrakt's main Facebook page.

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